Tips for Parents from
“Beyond the Classroom”
Why School Reform Has Failed and What Parents Need to Do
By Laurence Steinberg
• Ask ourselves as families, “What conditions need to be in place so that schools can make a difference? What role do we play?"
• Encourage schools to employ engaging approaches to instruction (collaborative learning, use of computers, field experiences, learning with real world significance, etc.)
• Help our students understand the relationship between academic success and subsequent academic settings, achievement in the workplace, future earnings and personal fulfillment.
• Realize that in our American culture, students tend to value time socializing over academic pursuits which pulls them away from opportunities for school achievement.
• Recognize that effective child-rearing is more that common sense. It is based on scientifically demonstrated principles that work and can be learned.
• There are three basic factors of parenting that differentiate effective parenting from ineffective:
1. Acceptance versus rejection:
Acceptance is the degree t o which the child feels loved, valued and supported by his or her parents. Accepting parents are affectionate, liberal in their praise, involved in their child’s life, and responsive to their child’s emotional needs.
2. Firmness versus leniency:
Firmness refers to the degree and consistence of parental limits on the child’s behavior. Firm parents have clear rules that the child is expected to follow and make demands on the child to behave in a mature and responsible way. Children of firm parents know that there are consequences for breaking these rules.
3. Autonomy versus control:
Autonomy refers to how much parents encourage their child’s sense of individuality. Parents ask their child their opinion and encourage him to express himself.
(excerpted from Beyond the Classroom, 1996)
In our next review of Beyond the Classroom learn about the style of parenting that is most effective and how it impacts children’s well-being and learning.